Fri Aug 10, 2007 12:12 am
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Mood: Happy ]Well, I just went through and purified the house using white sage. Words can't describe the peacefulness and happiness I feel right now. I hope the smell disspates slightly before mom gets home tomorrow. I know she likes scents, but the sage smell is a lil bit strong and I'm not sure how she's going to react to it. But meh. Of course, this has a second thing attached - I'm sure she knows it inside, but I have yet to tell her I'm pagan. Soooo.. I guess if it's strong, and she asks, I'm pretty much outing myself at this point. But I know her. She will understand. And she'll likely be thankful that I purified the house, even if she doesn't understand why.
Man. I just feel so good right now.
This is a bit of a change from how I've felt since I got home, The first few days I was okay. Then the heat shot up and I KNOW I'm dehydrated. I know because if I stand for too long I get dizzy, and I'm just very lethargic. I sleep a LOT. So I'm hoping that I can get re-hydrated in time.
In other news, I'm trying to make contact with Loki again. I uh.. ~cough~ I think I irritated him greatly because I refused to try and change, and I didn't want to listen, and just... well, suffice it to say that I've got some serious work to do. But I feel ready. I want a change. I want to be able to learn from him, because despite the fact that he's regarded as OMGWTFEEEEBIL by most, he is BRILLIANT. I actually on a level really respect the whole killing Balder. He was immortal. Nobody could hurt him. But through intellect and ingenuity, Loki found a way to do it. Was it nice? Uh, no. Hardly. But you cannot deny that it was brilliant. Plus, he can be really fun at times. Someone actually posted in LiveJournal about this. That a lot of Lokeans will only embrace the aspect of fun, disregarding that he can be demanding, pushy, and that there is a darker side. And I accept that. But having Loki around is like being on your toes at any given time. His moods change like a flame in the wind, and to be perfectly honest, I miss that. I'm stubborn, and I know we're gonna butt heads, but he taught me to speak out. And just like he's gotten in trouble for it, so have I. But I'm respected so much for having the ability to look at a situation, realize what utter BS it is, and bluntly say "This is ridiculous, you guys are so off course it's not even funny, and you need a healthy blast from the Reality Check Gun." And I think I'm ready for more life lessons.
I need to find more deities to learn from too, though. I want to reconnect with them. I'm sick of my life being a rut. I need to learn, grow. I'm hoping I can do that.
I had a project a long time ago, to make dolls of my patrons. At the time, I wanted to use felt. But now I think I want to do something a little more sturdy. And I think, if I can get the money, I want to make them within the next few months. I think I've almost killed my finances already this month, but that's okay, I need to get a doll pattern before I can do that. And formulate out clothes, hair, etc. One thing I want to continue that I was doing last time was getting crystals/stones and using that as the "heart" of the doll.
Man, it's been less than an hour since I purified and I just feel so renewed already. This is awesome. I need to do this more.
I need to clean the house before I go to bed, too. It's a mess and my mother, the former military grrrl, will absolutely flip if she sees the living room and kitchen. (The living room has all my luggage open, and stuff thrown everywhere.)
But I felt like I had to post. So I did.
http://www.magickalforest.com/trackback.php?e=510
I dunno, in the past I've always let them come to me, mainly because I'm still very hesitant when it comes to approaching anything. But you're supposed to seek out wisdom, right? Gyaaaahhhh. Maybe it's time to suck it up and start "asking around", for lack of better terminology.
